Why don't I just buy a toaster, you ask? Because I can't afford one. I'm poor as dirt, people. I just payed rent. I'm pretty sure I'll just make paying for my insurance. (Or, if I have my way, I won't be paying for it at all. Can we say quote?) Besides, having to discover alternate ways to do the little things is what an adventure is all about, right?
One of the things I've been the most surprised to learn about the most during my adventure is how being humble is so absolutely crucial and so massively hard to do. It's amazing to be able to sit back and commit to it, knowing that you're going to be able to follow through with everything... while you're living under your parent's roof and not learning what part of your paycheck goes where. Sure. Being humble is a breeze in that case. But when you're living on your own, you discover that a lot of things you had at home aren't exactly the things you're going to use to make your new home. For example, rent could be far more affordable if I wasn't paying so much on insurance or a phone. It took a lot of personal nagging, but after three or four months of not doing anything for myself and collecting paycheck to paycheck (or buying one big thing and seeing how NOT good of an idea that was at the end of the month) it's plain to see that I need to prioritize.
It is, in a word, humbling. I can't make it on my own. I need as much help as I can get.
It also, in another word, sucks.
It's a nice, healthy stab to pride to be humble, I'm sure. What I didn't foresee was the hardships that are a result of being... well, humble. When I first moved in to my place, Dad and I made a budget, and since then, even eliminating around three of the categories we came up with, I still can't make it on the hours I have to work with. Finding a full-time job, especially in this economy, is a near-impossibility.
Humble: a feeling of subservience.
I had something far more eloquent to say about humility, but I completely lost it when another excellent thought entered my head for the day. I just wanted to say a little diddly on that, though. Expect more thoughts later-ish.
It's true. Humility, as you know and are experiencing, is part of growing up and taking your place in the world. It definitely stinks in the moment, and we still get moments of it, even after our paychecks start to stretch a little farther. But take heart, dear sister.
ReplyDeleteOne day you'll look back at how you used to toast bagels over the stove top, and you'll laugh. And you'll sympathize with poor, young singles that do the same thing while you have graduated to a toaster. It doesn't last forever, this season of life, but it can produce very good things if we let it. :)
By the way, I still want to know what rurouni means. :)
ReplyDeleteAh, yes. That comment was on the first post, but I accidentally deleted it.
ReplyDelete"Rurouni" isn't actually a word in Japanese; more correctly, it WASN'T until about ten years ago, when a series named "Rurouni Kenshin" was released. After the show's popularity, it just became part of culture there. (Kind of like how Homer Simpson's "D'oh!" eventually made its way into the dictionary.) Rurouni means "wanderer." I know I'm not totally wandering now, but I thought it fit anyway. :)
I think your first comment was pretty insightful advice, El.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it, Ab!